i've tried

ii tried to do something to myself
so that ii will always be remindedd not to lose myy temperr so easilyy ...

i feel like my life's changedd ...
my life's takingg the worst ...
OMG~
everydayy myy emotions are takingg overr me ...
ii just cant control it ...
theyy seems to be overwhelmingg me ...
ii deduce it's "depression" ...
of course ii hope it's NOT ...

ive been losingg myy temperr easilyy ...
ii confidedd babyy bout tis matterr ...
so now the conclusion ?
ii must do somethingg TO MYSELF ...
so dat ii will be constantlyy remindedd not to lose myy temperr ...
perhaps its the wayy to cure this mental illness ...

so ?
ii decidedd to leave marks on myself ...
so wheneverr ii notice the mark ,
ii will be remindedd of myy goal ...

but the trails of the knife dun seems to appear ...
ii dun see what ii expectedd to see ...
even the the blade of myy pen knife is not helpingg me ...
probablyy ii will continue stridingg it across myy skin till ii see the marks ...

im not beingg dumb here ...
just tryingg out ways to help myself
and most importantlyy ...
my loved one ...

everythingg's just NOT RIGHT !
ii hate everythingg ! EVERYTHINGG !!!